okay, so i made the call

I finally called the agency today. i pretended that i was only calling to ask about a fax i sent... but i can't lie.  i was really calling to find out about any toddler referrals.. Well the news is that they may have much older kids (like 6 or 8 years old.) Nothing on itty bitty kids. So I'm back to anticipating the long wait. It's most likely that we'll be given, and accept, the referral of an infant. That could be many months from now. It's so hard not knowing. One month we're all excited because a new province is opening up and the promise of tons of kids is waved before us. We keep hearing that this will happen, but then no toddler referrals at all for months. So it's 2 am feedings and yucky diaper changes for us! Jeff swears he will not help in the diaper department. His claim is that he'll help when I've matched the number of diaper changes I've done to the number he's done.  I'm also trying hard not to wish for anything too much. I don't want to jinx myself. I'd rather say, we're open to any age and be thrilled to pieces when the time comes. It feels wrong to say I prefer this age over that. Almost like saying who are we to be so picky?! Besides, i believe in fate, and i believe the child that is destined to be ours will be ours. I suspect she'll have a strong and feisty personality and she'll let us know she's the one for us.