Happy Oink Oink to all

Happy TET everyone. February 18th was the first day of TET, the Vietnamese New Year.   This is the year of the Pig.  Pigs being my favorite farm animal. Farm living being my favorite fantasy life. You see a connection here? Well if our little buckets of Love is/will be born this year then she'll be a little oinker... i mean a PIG.   I'm a Tiger.. grrrrrowl!  I feel like i should be knee deep in Vietnamese culture and books, but i just can't get into it right now. I keep waiting for THE CALL to spring into action.  Our agency is talking about expanding into other provinces. Each time i hear this i get so excited and think Yes! our little girl will be there. she has been waiting a long time for a family to claim her. She needs her family now. but then things in the adoption world work so slowly and for all the talk of expanding into other provinces... not much has happened.  I try very hard not to have unreal expectations or to even dream too much of any one child. I want to keep open and positive and just let things happen as they're meant to be.

Valentine's Day

Today, Valentine's Day, i get the best gift ever. Jeff gave me a beautiful mother and daughter necklace. It's one of those things that as a PAP you feel like you have to have. Kinda like your entry VISA into the world of motherhood.  It was very sweet of him to give it to me first thing this morning... He must have been waiting for me to wake up to give me his gift.   It was a necklace of a mother holding a child. ahhhh.  So sweet!

Hypnotic and Addicting Connections

I came across a travel blog recently of a volunteer that spent a few weeks working in Vietnamese orphanages.  It was really interesting to read, but really what was fascinating were the pictures. I've seen plenty of pictures of Vietnam and of the orphanages, but for some reason these pictures just had me mesmerized. they were wonderful candids of older kids, probably ranging from 4 or so to 10ish.... This is older then i had hoped to adopt, but still, I'd stare at these beautiful faces and try to will them to be mine. If only i could fly there and scoop up all these cuties, and just hug them and hold them and squeeze them tight. I'm so bewildered by my strong reaction. Why these photos? Why these kids? I'm not sure if it's great photography or the lighting, or maybe I'm just yearning big time for a kid of my own... but for some reason, i keep looking at them.... and just thinking, my kid is here. somehow i know it.. my kid is here! Of course our agency is not even working in this village, and i don't even know if any agency at all is working with them... but i can't understand why else the strong reaction... so I'm trusting in the fates and knowing that our child is somewhere and if she happens to be in this particular province.... well that would just be too cool for me!

If these pictures really show how things are there, (they all seem so cute and happy and according to her, there's lots of interaction with the kids) they must be getting lots of love and affection. I really hope so... I don't know what it is about her blog that i was so addicted to. i wonder if in fact we'll be adopting one of these kids, and that's why I'm so mesmerized by it. i could stare at their little faces all day long. I don't know.. maybe the adoption gods are telling me something? : ) maybe there's even a little toddler running around with my name stamped on her little bottom... Rita's Girl

Missing My Baby Girl

Now for some good news: we have moved up one more spot on the infant list!  So WOO HOO one step closer for us.  We could even receive our referral by May and travel by August. I still want to adopt a toddler aged girl. If i could have my dreams come true we would get a referral for a 1 year old girl and travel by April. I'd give anything to be a mommy by mother's day (and my birthday...) i believe whatever will happen will happen and i certainly don't want to jinx myself.... but then there is a lot to be said about manifesting one's own destiny.

Jeff and i go out to dinner and of course the family sitting right next to us are AP's with their beautiful Asian daughter. Man i really wanted to start talking to them. So is your child from China? Oh btw, we're DTV and we can''t wait til we travel to get our beautiful child. See, instant and life long friends... It was kinda hard sitting across from them though. I kept telling Jeff, i really want our baby girl NOW.... it's been so long since we've been waiting and i can picture her in all the events and day to day activities that we're involved in... I miss her.... can you say you miss someone you have yet to meet?